Bullying.. A rock-Awesome story by my 10 year old.

*have I mentioned my kid is AWESOME? :)


My 10 year old is in a public school where bullying is not tolerated at all.  There is a huge no-bullying campaign that goes on all year.  I think it may even be part of the curriculum.  I don't really know. Anyway, here is a story that my son wrote about bullying.


     If I saw someone being bullied I would tell the bully to stop picking on the person. if they still didn't stop then I would go tell an adult. If the person was sad I would tell him to cheer up because the bully was gone. I have never been bullied. I have seen other people get bullied. My little brother has never been bullied either. Sometimes I see my friends get bullied. When my friends get bullied I stand up to the bully. Then when i get bullied they will stand up to the bully. I am glad my little brother has not been bullied. If someone was bulling my brother I would stand up to the person that was bullying my brother. I see bullying  at a lot of places. To me the worst type of bullying is physical bullying. Bullying with words is till bad. I think everyone should stand up to bullying. I think it is good stand up agains bullies. in my opinion bullies are weak people. Most bullies just want to have friends. it is good to have friends, but people do not have to fight for friends. Many bullies are really weak people. I think that bullies should stop picking on people. I think that bullying should be stopped.

A story my 10 year old wrote..

My son's assignment for school was to write a story in which he was a superhero.  Being the extreme Mortal Kombat fan that he is, he drew from that.  This is his story.
I fixed most spelling errors when I typed it, but grammar is his.

 My name is Stryker. I can spit grenades as powerful as a nuke. Explosives do not hurt me. My hand is a gun because I am a cyborg. My best ability is to shoot blue fire and fly. I can also shoot missiles from my stomach. I have a robot form and a human form. I can also trap people in radioactive nets. Stryker can also teleport. In my cyborg form, I can self-destruct. I can shoot lasers from my eyes. My other power is to turn invisible. I have a blade connected to my hand. I can freeze people by looking at their souls. I can also shoot ninja stars from my stomach. My cyborg form looks like a bee colored robot. My human form looks like a swat team member. Stryker is avery powerful. He defeated 100,000 people. He is the champion of fighting. He collects diamonds, rubies, marbles and pearls. If he collects all of the jewels he gets his super form. His best form is my super form. As you can see, Stryker is a very powerful person.

Ahh, gotta love the creative, morbid mind of the 10 year old..

Choices in disciplining my toddler...

Yeah, I'm just going to focus on my toddler today.  But first  let me add a little background. I used to be pro-spanking.  Until my oldest was 3.5, and I decided I needed to find something better. I never felt that spanking was appropriate. I never felt like I was doing the right thing, and I didn't think that it was biblical. I mean, how could a loving Jesus possibly tell me it was okay to hit my child?  Never made sense to me. The problem was, I didn't know any other way of disciplining.   I had always been taught that children who we not spanked grew up spoiled, horrible brats.  Turns out, it was the permissive parenting that caused that.  Not lack of spanking, but lack of discipline completely.    So, when Cias was 3.5, I found a wonderful message board that introduced me to the wonders of gentle/positive discipline. Meaning, I could discipline my child with out spanking. With out fear.  With out shame. Without humiliation.  I was skeptical at first. I said 'right, you all have easy, compliant kids who listen all the time. This wouldn't work for MY kid.'   How wrong I was.  God softened my heart and made me see that it would, in fact, work for my "strong-willed" son.   So I began to put it into practice.

Fortunately, I had time to learn more by the time my 2nd child came along.  He is more "strong-willed", spirited, and stubborn than my oldest ever was.  And he is fiercely independent.   He's just like me.  I call him my clone.    My poor parents......  :)

Background over:   I realized recently that I have a choice in disciplining my 2.5 year old.   I can force my will on him and spank him for not doing things exactly how and when I say, or I can teach him and guide him to do what is right.

An example:  Sammy, acting as a typical 2.5 year old, dumps cereal on the floor.   Age expected, but not okay.     So the conversation goes as follows-
Mommy: Sammy, you may not throw cereal on the floor.  Please pick it up.
Sammy: *does nothing*
Mommy: Sammy, can you do it yourself, or do you need mommy to help?
Sammy: I do it myself!!!!  *and proceeds to pick up the cereal*
 OR!
Sammy: Mama help me! *and we pick up the cereal together*

He learns that throwing cereal on the floor is not okay, and that he has to clean it up.  He also learns that mommy is willing to help him and mommy is there for him.

The phrase "can you do it yourself, or do you need mama's help?" has been wonderful.   We use it when we are leaving places.   When we need to clean up. When we need to buckle into the car seat.

So, choices in discipling my toddler? I'll choose gentle discipline, and give him the opportunity to make choices.

The Pearl's Excuses(A satire)

After reading an article by Debi Pearl, Titled "Mama's Excuses", my friend Linsey Grant, decided to write this as a response.   A Pearl Follower’s Excuses “We are so happy to be at this play date with you. I hope it’s understood that while at my home you relinquish all discipline to me. What do you mean you’re not comfortable with that? Don’t you know the Pearl’s book has been using proof texting and twisted logic to sell thousands of copies for years now? No, they don’t take responsibility for all those deaths of the children who’s parents were using their specific recommendations. That’s absurd that you would think they should… those parents obviously didn’t read the book close enough.” “Oh I know Johnny didn’t actually do anything wrong but this is a training exercise. You have to give children ample opportunity to fail so you can train them and let them know how inferior and stupid they are. What do you mean Paul tells us not to provoke our children in Ephesians? Well that doesn’t apply here. Why? Because it just doesn’t.” “Come let me wipe your nose, Johnny. Oh yes, it’s normal for children to flinch when you raise your hand. No, it doesn’t mean he fears me. It means he respects my authority. The psychology of fear? No, I don’t believe in that. 75 years of research has nothing on the Pearls’ divine inspiration. “Why yes, 4 mo old Hannah has been crying for half an hour. She doesn’t want to take her nap and she’s trying to manipulate me into going in there and picking her up. She will learn soon enough. What do you mean she sounds terrified in there? Young babies aren’t capable of feeling fear. Now, where did I put that switch?” “Of course we use a switch on our children. If I use my hand to spank them they will grow up to fear me. Well I know he flinches away from me anyway, but he’s flinching from the switch, not from me. He only knows love from my hands. What do you mean that doesn’t make any sense? It makes perfect sense. Children are too stupid to know that it is a person using the switch.” “How can you not believe in using a switch? The Bible clearly says ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child.’ What do you mean that is from a medieval poem and isn’t in the Bible? Of course it is. The Bible says whatever I want it to to make whatever point I’m trying to make right now. No, I’m not open to any logical interpretation of Scripture regarding the Proverbs. Solomon clearly commanded we beat our children and babies with sticks. Well of course the Proverbs are commandments. No, I am not taking one obscure verse out of context and ignoring the entire message of Scripture. My husband told me this is true and I believe whatever he tells me. “Okay, you clearly aren’t understanding the the Proverbs are commandments. Well of course I have never slit my throat after eating too much. Only certain Proverbs are actual literal commandments, most of the others are figurative proverbial sayings. I KNOW WHICH ONES BECAUSE MY HUSBAND TOLD ME, aren’t you listening?!” “Oh, don’t worry about Johnny’s hand. He’s not supposed to get the bandaging wet, but it will probably be okay. Of course I’ll tell you what happened. He was showing a little too much curiosity about the stove, so my husband gently touched his hand to the burner to teach him about ‘hot.’ Now, don’t get upset, I said ‘he gently touched.’ Okay, now you sound like the emergency room nurse. Don’t you think I know child abuse when I see it? It’s only abuse if you hate your children. When you burn them in love, that’s called training. At least he knows the difference between hot and cold now. No, we couldn’t have used something other than the absolute extreme to teach him. Children are stupid, remember?” Goodness, Hannah is still crying. Has it been an hour already? Babies will just do anything to get what they want, won’t they?! Can you believe how early the selfish sin nature shows its ugly head? No, she doesn’t need anything. Babies only have physical needs and those have been met. No, she doesn’t have emotional needs, only adults have those, and the husband’s are the most important. I really can’t stress this enough. When daddy’s needs are met, then we can all be happy. We are happy, see?? Well, Hannah will get there. She’ll be more happy after I scourge the sin from her with this switch. Excuse me, please.” Oh, I know I said children don’t have emotions, but what I meant was that cheerful and happy are the only acceptable emotions. There is no excuse for feeling sad or angry. Well, of course sometimes I feel this way, but that’s different. I don’t know why, it just is. My husband told me it was okay for me to feel bad sometimes, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of his needs. Don’t you know the Bible says that children are to be cheerful and obedient at all times? Showing anger is a gateway to becoming child molesters and rapists. That’s the way I was raised and I turned out just fine. Well, yes I know I have trouble relating to people and I have an intense fear of being vulnerable, but that has nothing to do with this. Yes, I suppose it’s true that Johnny still acts up in spite of our training efforts. He is still a child, after all. The wonderful thing is, I am able to discern childish behavior from foolish behavior. That’s what’s important, really. The Bible says it is the parent’s job to judge the child’s heart and punish accordingly, so that’s what we do. No, I don’t have a reference for that, I’ll have to ask my husband. Well of course I realize how ridiculous I sound… I wouldn’t expect you to get it. We spank now so our children don’t end up in jail. Well, yes I know 99.99% of people in jail were spanked as children, but isn’t it obvious they weren’t spanked correctly? It is a fine line of spanking to produce child molesters and murderers, and to produce happy, productive members of society. Why do you look so incredulous? There you go, using facts and logic again… well that’s just not going to fly around here, Missy. Anyway, I need you to go now. It is almost 3:00 and my husband will be home in 2 hours. I have to have the house perfect and supper made for when he gets home, lest he decide to find a proper wife elsewhere. I am so lucky to have a man that has put up with me for this long… he really is a saint. No, he’s not spending time with Rita from work anymore, that’s over. It’s completely understandable, though. After little Hannah was born I had a medical condition that prevented sexual relations for several months… a man has needs, after all! I’m just glad I prayed for his speedy return and God answered my prayers. The Lord is so faithful to those who pray patiently for their husbands. Well, goodbye now! __________________

Why must people be in such a hurry for their kids to grow up?

I often hear "just think, only 16 more years, then he'll finally be gone."  "Only 10 more years.  I can't wait."
Yes, those are their children(or grandchildren!!) that they are talking about.  Does it make you sad to hear that? It sure does me!        Are children really so horrible and inconvenient  to people that they are counting down the days until they finally move out of the house?   So they're noisy, they're crazy, they cause more messes than you can clean. They're also wonderful, snugly, exciting. It's a joy to watch them grow and learn and become strong, independent adults who go off to make their way in the world.   But why the rush? Why the rush to force them out into the world.  The more we rush them, the harder it will be for them to be strong and independent in the world.

I guess what I am trying to say is slow down! Take it easy.  Enjoy them, no matter what.  Whether they are 2 and destroying your house constantly, or they are a tween who is creating his/her own drama all day, they are still your babies.  Treasure them. Enjoy them.  No matter what they are doing.  Or saying.

So give them hugs, extra snuggles, and enjoy them for who they are right now.  

The stuff a mother's mind can come up with....

Okay, so it's possible we watch way too much TV.  Oh well.     Anyway, as we grow, we think more and more about what we are watching. It's less entertainment, and more "what on earth is going on?"  Well, today was one of those days where the shows were less about cartoon entertainment, and more about "mom entertainment."   For example:

What do the "animals" on Winnie The Pooh eat?  Pooh eats honey.    Rabbit eats the vegetables from his garden.   We know that. But Tigger is a carnivore. Where is his meat?  What about Piglet? What does he eat?  Or Kanga & Roo?   Which brings me to another question. Where is Roo's father?

 Speaking of father's, where on earth are Max and Ruby's parents?  Talk about neglectful parenting! Sheesh.

 And have you ever seen Barnyard?  Or Back To the Barnyard?  What's up with the bulls.  Umm, males don't have udders. Hello!  What a wonderful way to confuse children.

And Dora! Goodness is she quite the little adventurer.  Which I don't mind so much.  I'm pro-free range kids and all.   But that map. Oh my goodness.  I think he needs more lyrics to his song.


I'm sure there are more, but my mind is going even more numb as I try to think about them.

So, uh, do we watch too much TV, or am I just a bored mom of a toddler?   :)

The Mommy Rest Phenomenon....

There's this thing I call "the mommy rest phenomenon."   It's the radar that toddlers have.  They know.  Somehow, they just know.    Example...

Mom walks in, sees toddler crashed out on the floor.  She sneaks over and lays down quietly. Doesn't make a peep.  She gets quietly wiggles around.  She pulls the velvet blankets around her body.  She snuggles in.   She gets comfy.    She *almost* gets to sleep.    Suddenly, she hears a noise.  No, it can't be!     The sounds of a sleeping toddler waking up.  What?? NOOOOOOOOOOO.  She JUST got to sleep!   Sure enough, toddler walks up, sees her lying so nice and comfy and warm and says "Mama! Dit up!!! Dit up!!!!" and cries until she gets up.  Sighing, and inwardly fuming, she gets up.  What a waste of time that was, for  now she's even more tired than before.

I wish this was just during the day, but somehow, it occurs at night.. You would think the moon would block the radar, but no.  It does not.   If anything, it makes it worse.  

  Umm, is this just at my house????

Parenting is dangerous work

When I married my husband, my mom told him "I hope you always have good insurance. You're going to need it."  12.5 years later and I have proven her, right......   Good grief.  No, it isn't me constantly being sick. It's me being injured or something crazy like that.     Surgeries. Illnesses. Broken bones.  Childbirth.  Medications.   Chiropractor.  Yep, we've needed every bit of that wonderful insurance.   By the way, that's just for me.  That isn't including him or the kids.      And presently, we're using it once more.  Just for me.   Why?  I'll tell you....

  Parenting is dangerous work! Far more dangerous than anyone realizes.. 4 years ago I fractured my right elbow when I fell while skipping in a parking lot with my oldest.    This past Saturday night I managed to tear a muscle in my left calf while playing mini golf with my boys.   How's that for awesome?   Here's how it went..

We got our clubs. We got our balls.  The boys and I headed to the course, excited to do something fun.  The fun ended by the 2nd hole when Sammy decided to throw the balls into the water. Thankfully they float and there was a net to easily fetch them. Cias was put in charge of that.   We move on to the 3rd hole.  Sammy gets distracted by something and forgets about the water.  YAY! Maybe we can move on!
Oh, but it doesn't lost long.  That 2 year old curiosity caught up to him.  What's that?  A bush???  YES! A 2 year olds dream come true!  One by one he steals each ball and throws them in the bush.    A bush that mama can't get into.  Or see into.  The balls are gone.  Gone.   Totally gone.  We decide, sadly, to give up and go home.   But before we do, we have to endure something horrible.  Pain.  Horrid, terrible pain.    I started to stand up and it felt like some one pummeled me with a golf club.   The pain in my calf was so bad that I almost screamed out a very bad word, in front of a bunch of other kids(toddlers, who were playing nicely with their parents.  Obviously they didn't come from my womb).  I manage to stand, grab Samuel's hand and the three of us start walking back to the building.  I tell the boys we'll get ice cream instead.    I hobble inside, grab the nearest chair I can find and  collapse.    Cias orders ice cream and we all sit happily and eat it. Well, Sammy sat happily and ate it.  I tried not to cry from pain. Cias tried not to cry because his mommy was hurt.
   So anyway, we make it to the truck and I call Mike to inform him of what happened and tell him I need him to get Sammy out of the truck.   When we get home, Cias, being the sweet angel that he is, has cleared a way  for me through the house.   I get settled on the couch, we order a pizza and we chill the rest of the night..
Doctors appt. today confirmed that yes, it is a tear in the calf muscle, and yes it will heal soon.   Rest(HA! that's funny), anti-inflamatories and muscle relaxers were prescribed.   Ugh.    This has to heal soon.   My house can't handle mommy being out of commission....

It's gingerbread smashing time!!!

As we wrapped up Christmas and New Year's, we contemplated what to do with these wonderful gingerbread houses we had made.  Normally we just throw them in the trash.  Cias wanted to eat his this year.

Well, out of the blue, my husband pointed to the gingerbread houses and said to me "you should take those in the kitchen and let the boys smash them."   I paused.  I think my jaw may have dropped open.  Could it be?  My husband was suggesting we do something fun and MESSY?  I'm still in shock.  So is Cias.   Daddy doesn't like messes.   Daddy NEVER suggests doing anything messy, no matter how fun it may be.

Well, we loved his idea so much that we decided to take it outside instead.    That way we could be as messy as we wanted to be.   We waited for a day when we had free time after school.   Also happened to be a day when Cias had a friend over.  V is a very, very good friend of Cias'.   Has been since 2nd grade.   So, between the 3 boys, the following carnage ensued.....

This is what they look like when they start...

Hmm, a little bit destroyed. Not much. Why? Well, because when you add some meringue powder to the icing, it makes it stiff and holds shape much better.   

Tasty!

But it still wasn't breaking apart.  So, we got smart. Pulled out the big guns. Moms kitchen mallet. 

As you can see, it worked like a charm.

Yep.. Worked very well. So well, that Sammy didn't want to stop.  

  

Fun times.. Fun times.   And they would have ate more of it, but they were in a hurry to get to the park.. 

Merry Christmas!!

And a very Happy New Year!

So, I'm a little late.   The craziness of the holiday's took a toll and I've been too tired to stay up and attempt to blog.    So today I handed The Tornado my iphone, put him on my lap and started typing.  Ahh, the joys of technology.

Did everyone have a good Christmas? I hope so. I know we sure did.   On Christmas Eve we had our traditional Christmas Eve prime rib and the in-laws.  It was fun.  Delicious.    After that we came home, where Cias begged and begged and begged to open just.one.present! PLEASE!    Mima(my mom) found one that he could open.  It was a Pokemon ball that she had crocheted for him. He loved it.  As did Samuel, who was asleep by then and didn't get to open anything.

On Christmas morning, I woke up bright and early to get the turkey in the oven.   As I crawled back into my nice cozy bed, I heard Cias wake up.   Knowing he was anxious to open a present, or a stocking, I decided I was also too excited to sleep. So I channeled the little boy from the Disneyland commercial and got up and went into the living room.  By then Cias had already dumped out his stocking, went through the goodies and stuffed them back in again, to make it look like it hadn't been touched.  Yeah, nice try.. LOL.    As soon as Sammy got out of bed, he saw the presents, grabbed one and ripped it open. Thankfully it was his.. A blanket from Santa.  :)

Checking out the loot.  That's not even all of it.  More came when the rest of the relatives came.

Soon everyone came, breakfast was eaten and presents were opened.  I didn't get many pictures because I was trying to help Sammy open his presents.  The boys loved all of their presents.    Puzzles, piano, Pokemon cards, Legos, board games.. All the goodies. Plus new bikes!  

 Cias got a Tony Hawk bike. White with cool black markings on it.

Sammy got a cool black balance bike.  He really does like it, despite his face in the picture. LOL

After presents were opened, we ate a delicious lunch of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, veggies, rolls and more.  All cooked by me.  What a fun and wonderful undertaking that was.  

In all, I'd say it was a very good day.    

Ooh, but before I sign off, I have to tell you about the cake balls I made.    I took a baked chocolate cake, added in some of the most delicious frosting EVER(Thanks to the Pioneer Woman for posting it) and rolled it into balls. Chilled those for a day or two. Then melted some candy coating and crushed up some candy canes.  I then dipped each cake ball into the candy coating and then into the crushed candy canes. The result?  A little ball of heaven..

  

They may not look like much in the picture, but take my word for it, they are GOOOOOD.  :)

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!!!