Physically, I used to be strong. I used to go to the gym a few times a week. I could do over an hour on the elliptical trainer. I did weights. I used to be strong. But that never mattered, because I wasn't skinny. It didn't matter that I could carry 2 toddlers with no problem. It didn't matter that I could help him lift that jet-ski into the back of the truck. It only mattered to him that I wasn't skinny. After years of hearing this, I think I finally just gave up. Stopped going to the gym. Stopped caring. Sadly that means I have gained more weight and I am no longer the strong woman I used to be. The one who could easily move heavy furniture around the house.
I'm glad I finally came to this realization. Because it shows me not only what a jerk he was(and is), and how stupid his beliefs on body image are, but also so that I can start healing myself. I want to be that strong woman again. I need to be that strong woman again.
